The patient is adamant1. "Doc, I need a liver transplant, a kidney transplant, a heart transplant, a cornea transplant, a spleen transplant, a pancreas trans. . ." "What makes you think you need all ...

A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan. He asks, "What was that for?" She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocke ...

The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push wit ...

Father: I promised to buy you a car if you passed your examination, and you have failed. What were you doing last term? 父亲：我曾向你许诺，如果你考试及格就给你买俩小汽车 ...

In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a sc ...

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents1. 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。 "What did2 you do with the money I gave3 you yesterday?" “昨天给你的钱干什么了？” "I gave it ...

The two boys were camping in the backyard1. When they couldn't figure out what time it was, the first boy said to the second, "Start singing very loud." 两个男孩子在后院露营，他们不 ...

As soon as you wake up, you're fired Our co-worker went missing1 for a few hours, and we tore up the place looking for him. The boss finally found him fast asleep. Rather than wake him, he quietly p ...

After burying his mother nine months earlier, a client of the local mortuary finally had enough money to purchase the expensive coffin he'd originally wanted. So we exhumed the body and transferred hi ...

Traveling salesmen make their living visiting as many customers as possible. So speeding to get from one appointment to the next is not unheard-of. Which is how I got pulled over by a highway patrolma ...